Getting Over a Fear

When I was younger (think 12, 13 ,14...) I played softball on a summer league. I played right field for awhile and then was moved to catcher. I loved to play and I loved being part of a team but, by no means, was I any good. I mean, I wasn't the WORST on the team but I was close. And what was worse was that my team (who mercied almost every team we played) had no faith in my ability. I was the greatest cheerleader and I gave it my all. My coaches used to tell the other girls that they wished everyone would give as much as I had and that I was the only one who gave 110%. I tried out for the team in high school but didn't make it. In fact, the try out lead to one of my most embarassing moments ever...

For one part of the try-out, we had to hit a ball from a tee and run the distance to first base. It must have been raining outside or something because we did this drill in the gym. When it was my turn, I stepped up to the tee. My stomach was in knots and my heart was beating a million miles a second. I whacked the ball from the tee - a solid hit. Before I knew what happened, I was face down on the gym floor. I was so eager to start running that I tripped over my own feet and fell. I stood up, giggled, and asked if I could go again. I looked at the girls who were waiting their turn and even the girls who I thought would be my allies in this situation avoided eye contact. It was horrible.

So, here I am, 13 years later and a friend of mine from work asked me to join her co-ed slow pitch team. I told her that I'm terrible and that playing softball competitively is a huge fear of mine now. She assured me that it didn't matter so I joined. I just finished the last game of my second season with them and couldn't be happier that I made the choice to play. I've gotten steadily better and, in two seasons, have only struck out twice. Last game, I got a double and tonight I got three hits and an RBI.

I am quite proud of myself for facing my fear and, while standing alone on 2nd base still make me nervous, I'm having fun and getting better too. Summer season starts May 30th and I can't wait!